Taking Time

In the hospital and, I think, in general in life it’s easy to get annoyed with someone and then write that person of as hostile or demanding. However, if you make the extra effort to smile and be nice and ask about them and their day and if you have a little bit of patience, you will find that these people are not what they initially seemed. They, too, are somebody’s mother, sister, brother, or husband. They have a life somewhere else, and in that moment, when you first encounter each other, they may be grumpy, but we all get grumpy some times. It’s a lot easier to work with someone when the atmosphere is pleasant, and it only takes 30 seconds to set the tone for the rest of the day or evening. For instance, when a new nurse comes on shift, if she’s in a hurry and enters a patient’s room and he needs something and requests it in a demanding way, the nurse has a split second in which to decide if she will reply with kindness or animosity. And those 30 seconds will determine the rest of the day and the following days of care, because both parties will have decided that the other is kind or rude. People like it when they realize that you care. They really do. Maybe some people’s demeanors won’t completely change, because they are going through a bad time, but the relationship is different when it is based on care and respect. It doesn’t even take being hostile or rude to make a person feel bad. It can just be you in a hurry, not really listening to what the other is saying, not really caring how the other is feeling; it can just be you wanting to move on to your next task. That’s something that is so simple, but it’s really easy to get caught up in. Maybe I’m just young and idealistic… but if that is what it is, then I want to stay that way forever! A lot of us nursing students are that way. We notice different things we see in the hospital and it’s hard for us to understand how healthcare professionals can act the way they do sometimes. Surely at some point, they were also idealistic and truly cared about the people they worked with. I pray that my heart will not become calloused from years of service and that I will be able to (as Darcy says) look at people through my “Jesus goggles” and see them as the children of God that they are. Here’s a poem that I like that my boyfriend found and sent to me. I don’t know who it’s by, but the author of the chapter that the poem is found in is Richard C. Simmons, M.D. and the title of the chapter is “The Importance of Understanding Human Behavior to the Practicing Physician.”

What do you see nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking when you are looking at me--
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes.
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice—“I do wish you’d try.”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe.
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding the long day to fill.
Is that what you are thinking—is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still;
As I do at you bidding, as I eat at your will,
I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sister, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet;
A bride soon at twenty—my heart gives a leap.
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn.
At fifty, once more babies play round my knee.
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known.
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel—
Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body it crumbles, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart,
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells,
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again.
I think of the years all too few—gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact the nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, see me!