My Top Most Embarrassing Moments

This is going to be about my most embarrassing moments. I had another one recently, and I find talking about these events is therapeutic. I want to start off by saying that I’m not really all that easily embarrassed. I’m pretty outgoing and very willing to act silly and stupid in public much of the time (although in my old age I’m doing it less and less :( ). I’ve had several embarrassing moments since my freshman yr of college:

1) Freshman yr- there was a guy that I was friends with and we hung all the time, and obviously I had a huge crush on him, BUT we were JUST friends. That semester my brother was coming to visit me in Abilene from Honduras, and I was so excited. I was talking to this boy about it, and then he said he was kind of nervous to meet my brother b/c of the way big brothers sometimes are, but then I said, “Oh no, don’t be nervous, he’ll just be happy that I’m finally dating a nice guy.” (Key word there is dating. We were NOT dating.) I immediately realized my error, stopped dead in my tracks, studdered something like, but we’re not dating, and he continued to walk me back to my dorm talking incessantly about how pomegranates were his favorite fruit. I was absolutely MORTIFIED.

Rest of the story: Well, we obviously had to talk about it. I said some crap about how I really didn’t want to date right now, but I also admitted (b/c I couldn’t deny it at this point) that yes I was attracted to him and I had thought about dating. In the end we did actually date. So everything turned out fine… but that night was sheer anguish.

2) Sophomore yr- this also involves a guy (jeeze lousie, guys are a lot of trouble, I’m now realizing that most of my stories are a result of relationships!). I was living in Chile for the year, and I dated this hilarious and silly guy (which was perfect for me b/c I am too), and often when he came over, if I left the room for a minute he would hide in some ridiculous place. Writing this sounds stupid, but in reality it was really funny. So sometimes he would be hidden quite well and sometimes he would just be doing something like standing in the corner with a lamp shade over his head. He, being latino and not married, still lived with his parents. One day I was over at his house, and he left the living/dining room area, and I decided that it was high time I hid like he always did. So, I got down on my hands and knees and crawled under the dining room table. Well, he took longer to come back than I anticipated and his high school brother came out of his room, passed through the dining room and into the kitchen. Of course I was like, Oh no, I have to get out from under the table before he comes out of the kitchen because this looks ridiculous. So I started to crawl out from underneath the table and hopes to be out before his little brother came back from the kitchen. But, just as I was halfway out from underneath the table, he returned, and was like, what in the world are you doing? I, realizing be ridiculous situation I was in, began to laugh hysterically, trying to explain myself in between gasps. This commotion of course caught the attention of my boyfriend AND his father, who also ventured into the dining room to find me on the floor gasping for breath as in fits of laughter. Then, when I thought it couldn't get any more embarrassing, his mother walked in the door. I know that family must think that all Americans are ridiculously weird, but I tried to explain to them that I was only doing it because their son always did it at my place.

3) summer before senior yr- I spent 10 weeks of hunters the summer before my senior year of college. During that time I got to translate for her medical teams that came down. Most of the time there were only outhouses in which to relieve ourselves. At one particular place the outhouse did not have a lock on the door, and you needed to get a partner to go with you to the outhouse in order to guard the door. Now there were many people outside milling around the outhouse waiting to be seen by the doctors and nurses. I went with one of my friends to the outhouse, and I first guarded the door for her, and it was my turn for her to guard the door for me. On my way into the outhouse I made some joke about not getting distracted by any boys and abandoning her post. Well, right after I'd gotten my pants down around my ankles and had positioned myself in the best hovering position I could manage over the hole in the ground, low and behold the door to the outhouse opened. My friend had in fact been distracted by a boy and had abandoned her post. And, there standing with the door open was one of the doctors that I had been translating for and all the people that were milling around outside. Of course he immediately shut the door, and I'm sure that nobody really got a good look at me, but I was still really, really, really embarrassed.

4) last spring- I was dating a boy and I sent him an e-mail that was only a sentence or two long, and I accidentally sent it to my brother-in-law along with my boyfriend. Furthermore, I didn't realize the mistake until my brother-in-law wrote me and told me to stop sending him e-mails to my boyfriends or something to that effect. That was also embarrassing, because the words of the e-mails weren’t really about anything in particular, but taken out of context they could have sounded bad. I reiterate, the e-mail was completely innocent, but it might not have sounded the best to my brother-in-law. I don't really know what he thought about it, because I never discussed it with him, because of course I was embarrassed, and I don't think he cares. It could have been worse though, I could have accidentally sent it to one of the random people from my e-mail list that I never talk to, or an old professor, or an elder from the church or something like that.

5) recently-I sent a text message, so I thought, to my friend Andree. This text message was about a guy, and I guess in my haste, when I looked in my address book to select who to send the text message to I selected the guy's name. The guy later called me that night, and asked me if I had sent him a text message that day. I said no, as my heart skipped a beat in terror that maybe the message had been sent to him. Then he lied and said oh no I just got a message from the phone company and there was a problem with the text messages and I think maybe my brother sent me a text message or something like that. So, then I felt relieved. But, when we hung up the phone I checked my sent messages, and realized that the message had in fact gone to him. Just to double check I immediately called my friend Andree in order to verify that she had not in fact received a text message. I of course could not ignore the situation and was forced to call the guy back and tell him that I knew that he had in fact received a text message. He is a very funny and sarcastic guy, and he went on to tease me and increase my agony for quite some time. Again, in embarrassment I was laughing the whole time. It all worked out fine, and it really wasn't that big of a deal, but I just hate that sinking stomach feeling when you realize a mistake like that.

And those, my friends, are my most embarrassing moments. So the moral of the story is:
1) think before you speak
2) choose your door guard wisely
3) don't crawl underneath the table at your boyfriend's parent’s house (I know you all are tempted to do so) :)
4) when you send an e-mail, make sure that you chose the correct recipient
5) when you send a text message, make sure that you choose the correct recipient
6) embarrassing moments seem really traumatic in the moment, but in the end it really isn't a big deal, and being able to laugh at the mishap really helps

I don't feel like proofreading this whole blog, and I typed it using voice activated software, so if something really doesn't make sense, it's because the software misunderstood what I said.