Thursday, February 11, 2010
Sunday, November 16, 2008
My Top Most Embarrassing Moments
This is going to be about my most embarrassing moments. I had another one recently, and I find talking about these events is therapeutic. I want to start off by saying that I’m not really all that easily embarrassed. I’m pretty outgoing and very willing to act silly and stupid in public much of the time (although in my old age I’m doing it less and less :( ). I’ve had several embarrassing moments since my freshman yr of college:
1) Freshman yr- there was a guy that I was friends with and we hung all the time, and obviously I had a huge crush on him, BUT we were JUST friends. That semester my brother was coming to visit me in Abilene from Honduras, and I was so excited. I was talking to this boy about it, and then he said he was kind of nervous to meet my brother b/c of the way big brothers sometimes are, but then I said, “Oh no, don’t be nervous, he’ll just be happy that I’m finally dating a nice guy.” (Key word there is dating. We were NOT dating.) I immediately realized my error, stopped dead in my tracks, studdered something like, but we’re not dating, and he continued to walk me back to my dorm talking incessantly about how pomegranates were his favorite fruit. I was absolutely MORTIFIED.
Rest of the story: Well, we obviously had to talk about it. I said some crap about how I really didn’t want to date right now, but I also admitted (b/c I couldn’t deny it at this point) that yes I was attracted to him and I had thought about dating. In the end we did actually date. So everything turned out fine… but that night was sheer anguish.
2) Sophomore yr- this also involves a guy (jeeze lousie, guys are a lot of trouble, I’m now realizing that most of my stories are a result of relationships!). I was living in Chile for the year, and I dated this hilarious and silly guy (which was perfect for me b/c I am too), and often when he came over, if I left the room for a minute he would hide in some ridiculous place. Writing this sounds stupid, but in reality it was really funny. So sometimes he would be hidden quite well and sometimes he would just be doing something like standing in the corner with a lamp shade over his head. He, being latino and not married, still lived with his parents. One day I was over at his house, and he left the living/dining room area, and I decided that it was high time I hid like he always did. So, I got down on my hands and knees and crawled under the dining room table. Well, he took longer to come back than I anticipated and his high school brother came out of his room, passed through the dining room and into the kitchen. Of course I was like, Oh no, I have to get out from under the table before he comes out of the kitchen because this looks ridiculous. So I started to crawl out from underneath the table and hopes to be out before his little brother came back from the kitchen. But, just as I was halfway out from underneath the table, he returned, and was like, what in the world are you doing? I, realizing be ridiculous situation I was in, began to laugh hysterically, trying to explain myself in between gasps. This commotion of course caught the attention of my boyfriend AND his father, who also ventured into the dining room to find me on the floor gasping for breath as in fits of laughter. Then, when I thought it couldn't get any more embarrassing, his mother walked in the door. I know that family must think that all Americans are ridiculously weird, but I tried to explain to them that I was only doing it because their son always did it at my place.
3) summer before senior yr- I spent 10 weeks of hunters the summer before my senior year of college. During that time I got to translate for her medical teams that came down. Most of the time there were only outhouses in which to relieve ourselves. At one particular place the outhouse did not have a lock on the door, and you needed to get a partner to go with you to the outhouse in order to guard the door. Now there were many people outside milling around the outhouse waiting to be seen by the doctors and nurses. I went with one of my friends to the outhouse, and I first guarded the door for her, and it was my turn for her to guard the door for me. On my way into the outhouse I made some joke about not getting distracted by any boys and abandoning her post. Well, right after I'd gotten my pants down around my ankles and had positioned myself in the best hovering position I could manage over the hole in the ground, low and behold the door to the outhouse opened. My friend had in fact been distracted by a boy and had abandoned her post. And, there standing with the door open was one of the doctors that I had been translating for and all the people that were milling around outside. Of course he immediately shut the door, and I'm sure that nobody really got a good look at me, but I was still really, really, really embarrassed.
4) last spring- I was dating a boy and I sent him an e-mail that was only a sentence or two long, and I accidentally sent it to my brother-in-law along with my boyfriend. Furthermore, I didn't realize the mistake until my brother-in-law wrote me and told me to stop sending him e-mails to my boyfriends or something to that effect. That was also embarrassing, because the words of the e-mails weren’t really about anything in particular, but taken out of context they could have sounded bad. I reiterate, the e-mail was completely innocent, but it might not have sounded the best to my brother-in-law. I don't really know what he thought about it, because I never discussed it with him, because of course I was embarrassed, and I don't think he cares. It could have been worse though, I could have accidentally sent it to one of the random people from my e-mail list that I never talk to, or an old professor, or an elder from the church or something like that.
5) recently-I sent a text message, so I thought, to my friend Andree. This text message was about a guy, and I guess in my haste, when I looked in my address book to select who to send the text message to I selected the guy's name. The guy later called me that night, and asked me if I had sent him a text message that day. I said no, as my heart skipped a beat in terror that maybe the message had been sent to him. Then he lied and said oh no I just got a message from the phone company and there was a problem with the text messages and I think maybe my brother sent me a text message or something like that. So, then I felt relieved. But, when we hung up the phone I checked my sent messages, and realized that the message had in fact gone to him. Just to double check I immediately called my friend Andree in order to verify that she had not in fact received a text message. I of course could not ignore the situation and was forced to call the guy back and tell him that I knew that he had in fact received a text message. He is a very funny and sarcastic guy, and he went on to tease me and increase my agony for quite some time. Again, in embarrassment I was laughing the whole time. It all worked out fine, and it really wasn't that big of a deal, but I just hate that sinking stomach feeling when you realize a mistake like that.
And those, my friends, are my most embarrassing moments. So the moral of the story is:
1) think before you speak
2) choose your door guard wisely
3) don't crawl underneath the table at your boyfriend's parent’s house (I know you all are tempted to do so) :)
4) when you send an e-mail, make sure that you chose the correct recipient
5) when you send a text message, make sure that you choose the correct recipient
6) embarrassing moments seem really traumatic in the moment, but in the end it really isn't a big deal, and being able to laugh at the mishap really helps
I don't feel like proofreading this whole blog, and I typed it using voice activated software, so if something really doesn't make sense, it's because the software misunderstood what I said.
1) Freshman yr- there was a guy that I was friends with and we hung all the time, and obviously I had a huge crush on him, BUT we were JUST friends. That semester my brother was coming to visit me in Abilene from Honduras, and I was so excited. I was talking to this boy about it, and then he said he was kind of nervous to meet my brother b/c of the way big brothers sometimes are, but then I said, “Oh no, don’t be nervous, he’ll just be happy that I’m finally dating a nice guy.” (Key word there is dating. We were NOT dating.) I immediately realized my error, stopped dead in my tracks, studdered something like, but we’re not dating, and he continued to walk me back to my dorm talking incessantly about how pomegranates were his favorite fruit. I was absolutely MORTIFIED.
Rest of the story: Well, we obviously had to talk about it. I said some crap about how I really didn’t want to date right now, but I also admitted (b/c I couldn’t deny it at this point) that yes I was attracted to him and I had thought about dating. In the end we did actually date. So everything turned out fine… but that night was sheer anguish.
2) Sophomore yr- this also involves a guy (jeeze lousie, guys are a lot of trouble, I’m now realizing that most of my stories are a result of relationships!). I was living in Chile for the year, and I dated this hilarious and silly guy (which was perfect for me b/c I am too), and often when he came over, if I left the room for a minute he would hide in some ridiculous place. Writing this sounds stupid, but in reality it was really funny. So sometimes he would be hidden quite well and sometimes he would just be doing something like standing in the corner with a lamp shade over his head. He, being latino and not married, still lived with his parents. One day I was over at his house, and he left the living/dining room area, and I decided that it was high time I hid like he always did. So, I got down on my hands and knees and crawled under the dining room table. Well, he took longer to come back than I anticipated and his high school brother came out of his room, passed through the dining room and into the kitchen. Of course I was like, Oh no, I have to get out from under the table before he comes out of the kitchen because this looks ridiculous. So I started to crawl out from underneath the table and hopes to be out before his little brother came back from the kitchen. But, just as I was halfway out from underneath the table, he returned, and was like, what in the world are you doing? I, realizing be ridiculous situation I was in, began to laugh hysterically, trying to explain myself in between gasps. This commotion of course caught the attention of my boyfriend AND his father, who also ventured into the dining room to find me on the floor gasping for breath as in fits of laughter. Then, when I thought it couldn't get any more embarrassing, his mother walked in the door. I know that family must think that all Americans are ridiculously weird, but I tried to explain to them that I was only doing it because their son always did it at my place.
3) summer before senior yr- I spent 10 weeks of hunters the summer before my senior year of college. During that time I got to translate for her medical teams that came down. Most of the time there were only outhouses in which to relieve ourselves. At one particular place the outhouse did not have a lock on the door, and you needed to get a partner to go with you to the outhouse in order to guard the door. Now there were many people outside milling around the outhouse waiting to be seen by the doctors and nurses. I went with one of my friends to the outhouse, and I first guarded the door for her, and it was my turn for her to guard the door for me. On my way into the outhouse I made some joke about not getting distracted by any boys and abandoning her post. Well, right after I'd gotten my pants down around my ankles and had positioned myself in the best hovering position I could manage over the hole in the ground, low and behold the door to the outhouse opened. My friend had in fact been distracted by a boy and had abandoned her post. And, there standing with the door open was one of the doctors that I had been translating for and all the people that were milling around outside. Of course he immediately shut the door, and I'm sure that nobody really got a good look at me, but I was still really, really, really embarrassed.
4) last spring- I was dating a boy and I sent him an e-mail that was only a sentence or two long, and I accidentally sent it to my brother-in-law along with my boyfriend. Furthermore, I didn't realize the mistake until my brother-in-law wrote me and told me to stop sending him e-mails to my boyfriends or something to that effect. That was also embarrassing, because the words of the e-mails weren’t really about anything in particular, but taken out of context they could have sounded bad. I reiterate, the e-mail was completely innocent, but it might not have sounded the best to my brother-in-law. I don't really know what he thought about it, because I never discussed it with him, because of course I was embarrassed, and I don't think he cares. It could have been worse though, I could have accidentally sent it to one of the random people from my e-mail list that I never talk to, or an old professor, or an elder from the church or something like that.
5) recently-I sent a text message, so I thought, to my friend Andree. This text message was about a guy, and I guess in my haste, when I looked in my address book to select who to send the text message to I selected the guy's name. The guy later called me that night, and asked me if I had sent him a text message that day. I said no, as my heart skipped a beat in terror that maybe the message had been sent to him. Then he lied and said oh no I just got a message from the phone company and there was a problem with the text messages and I think maybe my brother sent me a text message or something like that. So, then I felt relieved. But, when we hung up the phone I checked my sent messages, and realized that the message had in fact gone to him. Just to double check I immediately called my friend Andree in order to verify that she had not in fact received a text message. I of course could not ignore the situation and was forced to call the guy back and tell him that I knew that he had in fact received a text message. He is a very funny and sarcastic guy, and he went on to tease me and increase my agony for quite some time. Again, in embarrassment I was laughing the whole time. It all worked out fine, and it really wasn't that big of a deal, but I just hate that sinking stomach feeling when you realize a mistake like that.
And those, my friends, are my most embarrassing moments. So the moral of the story is:
1) think before you speak
2) choose your door guard wisely
3) don't crawl underneath the table at your boyfriend's parent’s house (I know you all are tempted to do so) :)
4) when you send an e-mail, make sure that you chose the correct recipient
5) when you send a text message, make sure that you choose the correct recipient
6) embarrassing moments seem really traumatic in the moment, but in the end it really isn't a big deal, and being able to laugh at the mishap really helps
I don't feel like proofreading this whole blog, and I typed it using voice activated software, so if something really doesn't make sense, it's because the software misunderstood what I said.
Monday, June 02, 2008
All you need is love...
I got an email from a leader at a church I have visited in the past entitled "What if 20 million illegal aliens vacated America?" This was the second time I was on the mass list of recipients for such a type of email. It disgusted me. The first one did too, but this time I responded with the following:
Title of email: What if 20 million Christians loved the way Christ does?
My understanding of the Bible gives me a different view on immigration. I am a Christian, who happens to live in between some man-made lines on a map that declares this region as the United States of America. Many people were killed so that we could have more riches in this country and so that California could be a part of the United States.
I have heard it said, “If you had a choice when you woke up this morning, then you are rich.” Meaning, if you had a choice of whether or not to hit snooze, what to wear, what to eat, which bus/car/taxi to take, of whether or not to go to work or school, whether or not to use a phone to call a friend or use the internet, whether or not to drink a glass of water, then you are rich, because millions do not have these options.
I actually do know quite a few illegal immigrants that would gladly pay into social security (and any other taxes) if given the chance (i.e. make them legal and that possible). Many people that come here illegally, come here out of desperation. They risk their lives, they leave their friends and family, and they travel to an unknown land in search of a way to SURVIVE. They come here because there are no more options left where they live.
As a Christian, how could I dare to keep them out, when the Savior that I claim to love, welcomed them in. How could I dare to go against them, when my Savior is for them. In Christ there is no race, there is no nationality. HE does not recognize that imaginary line we drew across the land differentiating between the haves and the have-nots.
Luke 3:10-11
“What should we do then?” the crowd asked. John answered, “The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.”
I don’t own a tunic, but I do own tons of clothes, a desk, a bed, a computer, printer, palm pilot, camera, books, and more. I’ve never known what it was like not to know where the food was going to come from. I’ve never feared not making the rent. I’ve always been loved by my family and of course by the Savior that I grew up knowing. And I should share. I am the over statement of the man that has two tunics. I live in a country where I can get an education, where I can get a job, where I can go to a soup kitchen if I don’t have food. I will not fight against other people that wish to share in that prosperity, that wish to feed their kids. [That is not to say that I think our system is perfect or that everyone is well taken care of, but it is better than a lot of places, and nobody is going to starve to death.]
Mark 7: 6-8
He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men. You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men.”
Patriotism is not what God had in mind for his disciples. Jesus spent his whole life teaching about love… loving people different from ourselves. Because of Jesus’ lack of patriotism, I get to know the love of my God. Jesus died for us all, not just the Jews, not just the Americans. American does not equal Christian.
Matthew 25
Jesus said,"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"
Galatians 3:28
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
I have brothers and sisters in Christ that are from across the border and are simply looking for a way to feed their children. There are others that have not come to know my God yet, and how will they ever know Him if I do not show them love but am only fighting to send them back to a place where they have few options for survival.
Luke 10:25-37 The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"
28"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho , when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
Luke 12:48
“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
My views might be radical, but I know a man that made way more radical statements than I:
Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Luke 12: 48
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
Luke 14:33
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
Acts 2:43-45
Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
James 4:17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Philippians 1:9-11
9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Rebecca Brown
Title of email: What if 20 million Christians loved the way Christ does?
My understanding of the Bible gives me a different view on immigration. I am a Christian, who happens to live in between some man-made lines on a map that declares this region as the United States of America. Many people were killed so that we could have more riches in this country and so that California could be a part of the United States.
I have heard it said, “If you had a choice when you woke up this morning, then you are rich.” Meaning, if you had a choice of whether or not to hit snooze, what to wear, what to eat, which bus/car/taxi to take, of whether or not to go to work or school, whether or not to use a phone to call a friend or use the internet, whether or not to drink a glass of water, then you are rich, because millions do not have these options.
I actually do know quite a few illegal immigrants that would gladly pay into social security (and any other taxes) if given the chance (i.e. make them legal and that possible). Many people that come here illegally, come here out of desperation. They risk their lives, they leave their friends and family, and they travel to an unknown land in search of a way to SURVIVE. They come here because there are no more options left where they live.
As a Christian, how could I dare to keep them out, when the Savior that I claim to love, welcomed them in. How could I dare to go against them, when my Savior is for them. In Christ there is no race, there is no nationality. HE does not recognize that imaginary line we drew across the land differentiating between the haves and the have-nots.
Luke 3:10-11
“What should we do then?” the crowd asked. John answered, “The man with two tunics should share with him who has none, and the one who has food should do the same.”
I don’t own a tunic, but I do own tons of clothes, a desk, a bed, a computer, printer, palm pilot, camera, books, and more. I’ve never known what it was like not to know where the food was going to come from. I’ve never feared not making the rent. I’ve always been loved by my family and of course by the Savior that I grew up knowing. And I should share. I am the over statement of the man that has two tunics. I live in a country where I can get an education, where I can get a job, where I can go to a soup kitchen if I don’t have food. I will not fight against other people that wish to share in that prosperity, that wish to feed their kids. [That is not to say that I think our system is perfect or that everyone is well taken care of, but it is better than a lot of places, and nobody is going to starve to death.]
Mark 7: 6-8
He replied, “Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you hypocrites; as it is written: These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men. You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men.”
Patriotism is not what God had in mind for his disciples. Jesus spent his whole life teaching about love… loving people different from ourselves. Because of Jesus’ lack of patriotism, I get to know the love of my God. Jesus died for us all, not just the Jews, not just the Americans. American does not equal Christian.
Matthew 25
Jesus said,"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"
Galatians 3:28
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
I have brothers and sisters in Christ that are from across the border and are simply looking for a way to feed their children. There are others that have not come to know my God yet, and how will they ever know Him if I do not show them love but am only fighting to send them back to a place where they have few options for survival.
Luke 10:25-37 The Parable of the Good Samaritan
25On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
26"What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?"
27He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'[a]; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b]"
28"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
30In reply Jesus said: "A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho , when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. 35The next day he took out two silver coins[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.'
36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
Luke 12:48
“From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.”
My views might be radical, but I know a man that made way more radical statements than I:
Mark 10:21
Jesus looked at him and loved him. "One thing you lack," he said. "Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
Matthew 7:12
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Luke 12: 48
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.
Luke 14:33
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.
Acts 2:43-45
Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
James 4:17Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Philippians 1:9-11
9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Rebecca Brown
Friday, May 23, 2008
Married
My friend changed his religious views to "married" on Facebook. I asked him what he meant by it, and this is what he wrote back:
And you’re curious about my “married” religious views? I guess as I continue my relationship with God, this relationship feels more and more like a marriage. There are good times and bad times, ups and downs, times when I feel in love and times when I don’t feel that way at all. I don’t feel like I’m in love right now. But during this time that REALLY sucks, I can be sure that I do love God. I’m not going anywhere. I never made a ‘till death do us part” vow, but that’s the way it is. It feels like something’s been pushed through my flesh and affixed me to him (Deut. 15:16-17). “For your maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is his name.” (Isa. 54:5)
I liked his answer, and he gave me permission to post it; so I thought I would share it with the few of you who have continued to read my blog.
And you’re curious about my “married” religious views? I guess as I continue my relationship with God, this relationship feels more and more like a marriage. There are good times and bad times, ups and downs, times when I feel in love and times when I don’t feel that way at all. I don’t feel like I’m in love right now. But during this time that REALLY sucks, I can be sure that I do love God. I’m not going anywhere. I never made a ‘till death do us part” vow, but that’s the way it is. It feels like something’s been pushed through my flesh and affixed me to him (Deut. 15:16-17). “For your maker is your husband – the Lord Almighty is his name.” (Isa. 54:5)
I liked his answer, and he gave me permission to post it; so I thought I would share it with the few of you who have continued to read my blog.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Crazy
My roommate started calling to me from the living room, "Are you clipping your nails?!" Comes to my room. "What are you doing? Is your stereo on?" Turns my stereo off. "I've been hearing this clicking noise coming from your room all day! What is it? Don't you hear it? It's driving me crazy!" I say no. I can't hear anything. She stands there listening. Voice escalating, "There it is again! Why can't you hear that?" Then she goes back to the living room. Calling to me from there, "It's so loud I can hear it from here!" By then I know she must be crazy, because although I'm a little hard of hearing, I'm not SO hard of hearing that she would be able to hear something coming from MY bedroom while in the living room that I couldn't hear. I tell her that she's crazy and hearing things. We argue about it a little more, then I dial our friend's number and am getting ready to leave a voicemail asking her to come over, so that we can find out if in fact there is a noise, but at that moment, as Byanqa stood in my doorway, she realized that the drawstrings on her sweats had metal ends and that was the sound that she had been hearing all afternoon that had been driving her crazy. Haha. Roommates are fun.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
long awaited post
okay, to my 2 readers that still check my blog from time to time, i am going to start posting again regularly. my sweet boyfriend, who knew that i would never get around to getting the software, won an ebay auction for me yesterday for some voice recognition software. i haven't been posting b/c it hurts me to type, so i try and just do it when i have to (like for school), but soon i will have no excuse... can't wait to put all my thoughts and feelings back on the net! :)
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Arm Lingerie
Meet my new bedtime attire. Don't worry. I know I'm stinkin' sexy. If you're wondering, the arm braces are for ulnar nerve entrapment, and the wrist braces are for carpel tunnel syndrome. I'm broken. *sniff, sniff* I never knew how much I itch until I had to wear the braces! But just as soon as I get them on, my head, belly, or anywhere that requires me to bend my arm to get to starts itching. And yes, I've come up with some creative ways to reach those itches without taking the braces off.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Why do I do this to myself???
I've seen A Walk To Remember before. I knew what was in store for me tonight when I started watching it. And it started getting really sad, and I started boohooing, and then it got even sadder, and I'm just sitting here alone bawling my eyes out, and then the sadness continues, and I knew that it would, because I know how it ends. Yet I continue to torture myself sitting here, watching all the sadness, doing the ugly cry that's really noisy. My neighbors can probably hear me wailing. Well, that's an exaturation, but it is loud. Hope your evening has been less dramatic. The commercial is over now, gotta get back to my sad movie, so that I can watch her die in the end.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Pictures of the Glasses
Glasses I have yet to step or sit on.
Glasses I stepped on last year (or maybe it was 2 yrs ago now).
This is the pair I stepped on this morning.Broken
I stepped on my glasses this morning. For some reason when I got done reading my Bible last night, I put it down on the floor next to my bed and put my glasses on top instead of putting them both on the nightstand on the other side of my bed. And I guess I must not have actually gotten my glasses on top of my Bible b/c they were definitely on the floor when I stepped on them. I heard a popping sound and looked down to see my glasses under my foot. My heart sank. Luckily the lense wasn't broken, and now, finally this afternoon after much struggle I have managed to get the lense back in the frame (and I'm wearing my glasses at this very moment) but I can't get the frames to straighten out. So the good part is that I can still use them to see. The bad part is, I cannot use them to look attractive b/c they are sitting lopsided on my face. Oh well, at least they're just for reading. But I did this very thing to a pair of glasses last year! When will I ever learn?! I do still have a non crooked pair, but they're not as strong as the others.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
hhhmmmm
I went to church on Sunday. The worship was good. The message was good. Communion was good. It was a diverse church. People were friendly. And then they talked about a special offereing they wanted to do in 2 weeks for the following:
$5000 for a missionary
$5000 for a new stage lighting system including spotlights
$15,000 to pave the parking lot
I'm glad the missionary was included and sad that the missionary is worth the same as the spot lights and less than the parking lot.
You rarely hear about a random special offering for the starving children. What if we put that up there with the other offering stuff?
what would it look like?
$0 for the starving people
$0 for the people that need clothes
$0 for the people that need shelter
$15,000 for the parking lot
Doesn't sound as good when you add in the $0 stuff. I know a lot of people that would argue with me on this point and rationalize the point and I think I understand that opposite view, BUT I still can't get the $0 out of my head for the starving people. Sure the new spotlights would be cool, and it would fix the current problem of not being able to see the giant screens very well that have the power points... BUT that's the point! The more crap we buy, the more we "need" and the more we have to spend in order to maintain what we have.
I see it in my own life too. The more stuff I get, the more consumed I get with preserving it, the more I feel like I need to update x,y, and z. And then I need to find a place to store my things. I need a bigger place to store my crap. They need shelter and I need shelter for my stuff. I NEED it. They need food, but I need my things.
The thing is, I'm so tempted everyday to be self-indulgent and most of the time I'm failing miserably in my effort to resist this temptation. So, when I go to church and they talk about all the improvements they want to make to the building, because it will make them be able to reach out to others and serve the Lord better, it upsets me. it's just another form of self-indulgence under the guise of serving the Lord, it burns me up. Every church I've visited for an extended period of time here has had some improvement project for their building. It's a lot of time, money and effort, and why are we kidding ourselves about why we're doing it. It's not for others, it's for ourselves.
The people that don't know Jesus are not out there starving for a cool building, lighting sytem, parking lot, etc. They're starving for love. They're starving for relationships. They're starving for community that comes in Christ. They're starving for freedom and redemption in HIM. I know we can do come cool outreach things with a building, but... but. ... i think we could do some really cool outreach things without a building, like forming real relationships. Making worship personal. Making community real.
$5000 for a missionary
$5000 for a new stage lighting system including spotlights
$15,000 to pave the parking lot
I'm glad the missionary was included and sad that the missionary is worth the same as the spot lights and less than the parking lot.
You rarely hear about a random special offering for the starving children. What if we put that up there with the other offering stuff?
what would it look like?
$0 for the starving people
$0 for the people that need clothes
$0 for the people that need shelter
$15,000 for the parking lot
Doesn't sound as good when you add in the $0 stuff. I know a lot of people that would argue with me on this point and rationalize the point and I think I understand that opposite view, BUT I still can't get the $0 out of my head for the starving people. Sure the new spotlights would be cool, and it would fix the current problem of not being able to see the giant screens very well that have the power points... BUT that's the point! The more crap we buy, the more we "need" and the more we have to spend in order to maintain what we have.
I see it in my own life too. The more stuff I get, the more consumed I get with preserving it, the more I feel like I need to update x,y, and z. And then I need to find a place to store my things. I need a bigger place to store my crap. They need shelter and I need shelter for my stuff. I NEED it. They need food, but I need my things.
The thing is, I'm so tempted everyday to be self-indulgent and most of the time I'm failing miserably in my effort to resist this temptation. So, when I go to church and they talk about all the improvements they want to make to the building, because it will make them be able to reach out to others and serve the Lord better, it upsets me. it's just another form of self-indulgence under the guise of serving the Lord, it burns me up. Every church I've visited for an extended period of time here has had some improvement project for their building. It's a lot of time, money and effort, and why are we kidding ourselves about why we're doing it. It's not for others, it's for ourselves.
The people that don't know Jesus are not out there starving for a cool building, lighting sytem, parking lot, etc. They're starving for love. They're starving for relationships. They're starving for community that comes in Christ. They're starving for freedom and redemption in HIM. I know we can do come cool outreach things with a building, but... but. ... i think we could do some really cool outreach things without a building, like forming real relationships. Making worship personal. Making community real.
Friday, October 26, 2007
HIV, Jesus, and Love
I just got done emailing a friend, and I realized that I had used my email to him to unload the kind of thing I normally unload on my blog. So, I'm going to put it here too.
I really enjoy my HIV class b/c it's full of people pumped up about tackling a hard problem like me. It's really nice to be around other people that care about the HIV/AIDS epidemic, that want to talk about it... b/c nobody really wants to hear about it b/c it's depressing. It's kind of like a support group too, b/c we get to recognize together that it IS depressing and it does get hard reading about it after a while, b/c the problem just seems so big and overwhelming. What I don't like about the group is that I get the feeling that I might be the only Christian in there. It was really saddening today, and I get so embarrassed by how culture has twisted Christianity and that many people call themselves Christians and the only thing they might get riled up about is maybe not wanting schools to distribute birth control pills and condoms instead of getting riled up about social justice and doing something about it. this used to bother me while living in the south, b/c i would think about all the people in need that needed to be served and the majority of church goers weren't doing anything. now it bothers me for the that same reason PLUS the fact that it's not a good witness b/c out here people don't claim to be christians and not only that, they don't like christians as a group. like you can actually feel animosity radiating off of them occasionally. and now, the inactivity of christians (or their activity in what i consider to be not so important areas) has totally distorted people's view of christianity. These people here don't know the compassionate Jesus that loved the "rejects of society," that went against social norms and talked to a samaritan woman or stood up for a woman accused of adultery. They don't know the man that said, look you might be "righteous" and follow all the laws but you don't have any compassion and so you have it all wrong. they don't know the man that was infinitely concerned about the "least of these", and they don't know this man's disciples. All they see are christian teachers of the law that are caught up in self righteousness and dont have compassion. when they think christian, they don't associate it with giving, caring, loving... and that made me so sad today listening to people in my class... i didnt know what i wanted to say until after the discussion had passed... even then, they had never said anything truly overtly against christianity and so it would have been awkward for me to start "preaching." i mean, it was the middle of class and we were talking about America's involvement in HIV/AIDS treatment and prevention abroad. It finally lead to christianity b/c Bush claims Christianity and he's the one that's pushing the ABC program, which is abstinence, being faithful, and use condoms... but the program places a lot more emphasis on the first 2, which i believe in, but i believe in equal emphasis on the condom part too for lots of reasons i'm not going to type now. so. the class was very disheartening.
i just wanted them to know that the Way of Jesus is a radical way of LOVE. and yeah, there's things we do and we don't do, but it's in love. because we love God and because we love others.
I really enjoy my HIV class b/c it's full of people pumped up about tackling a hard problem like me. It's really nice to be around other people that care about the HIV/AIDS epidemic, that want to talk about it... b/c nobody really wants to hear about it b/c it's depressing. It's kind of like a support group too, b/c we get to recognize together that it IS depressing and it does get hard reading about it after a while, b/c the problem just seems so big and overwhelming. What I don't like about the group is that I get the feeling that I might be the only Christian in there. It was really saddening today, and I get so embarrassed by how culture has twisted Christianity and that many people call themselves Christians and the only thing they might get riled up about is maybe not wanting schools to distribute birth control pills and condoms instead of getting riled up about social justice and doing something about it. this used to bother me while living in the south, b/c i would think about all the people in need that needed to be served and the majority of church goers weren't doing anything. now it bothers me for the that same reason PLUS the fact that it's not a good witness b/c out here people don't claim to be christians and not only that, they don't like christians as a group. like you can actually feel animosity radiating off of them occasionally. and now, the inactivity of christians (or their activity in what i consider to be not so important areas) has totally distorted people's view of christianity. These people here don't know the compassionate Jesus that loved the "rejects of society," that went against social norms and talked to a samaritan woman or stood up for a woman accused of adultery. They don't know the man that said, look you might be "righteous" and follow all the laws but you don't have any compassion and so you have it all wrong. they don't know the man that was infinitely concerned about the "least of these", and they don't know this man's disciples. All they see are christian teachers of the law that are caught up in self righteousness and dont have compassion. when they think christian, they don't associate it with giving, caring, loving... and that made me so sad today listening to people in my class... i didnt know what i wanted to say until after the discussion had passed... even then, they had never said anything truly overtly against christianity and so it would have been awkward for me to start "preaching." i mean, it was the middle of class and we were talking about America's involvement in HIV/AIDS treatment and prevention abroad. It finally lead to christianity b/c Bush claims Christianity and he's the one that's pushing the ABC program, which is abstinence, being faithful, and use condoms... but the program places a lot more emphasis on the first 2, which i believe in, but i believe in equal emphasis on the condom part too for lots of reasons i'm not going to type now. so. the class was very disheartening.
i just wanted them to know that the Way of Jesus is a radical way of LOVE. and yeah, there's things we do and we don't do, but it's in love. because we love God and because we love others.
Monday, October 08, 2007
1 Year
One year and seven days ago I moved to San Francisco. One year and five days ago I was wondering what in the world I was doing here and whether or not I should run back to the South. One year and 4 days ago I was feeling better about the situation (finding an apartment helped). One year ago today marks my official hire date, and one year ago tomorrow marks my first day at work.
This year has been so different for me in so many ways. Being a grown-up is pretty hard work. Plus I moved to a completely different place very far away from home with a very different culture. I learned how to use public transportation. I started my job as a nurse, which is when the learning really begins. I learned how to switch back and forth between night shift and day shift every 4 weeks. I learned that I am week and need support and to be spiritually fed. I learned what it feels like to miss church on Sundays about twice a month because I had to work. I learned what it feels like not to have a church home.
Praise God that year is over!
There were good times too. I think San Francisco is a really neat city, and it's really weird. There are things that I see here that I assume you don't see anywhere else.
Now I'm in graduate school, and I finally feel like I'm not spinning my wheels and completely lost, but I also feel frustrated because school and work consume nearly all of my time. But it's only 2 years. People have done it before. I can do anything for 2 years.
This year has been so different for me in so many ways. Being a grown-up is pretty hard work. Plus I moved to a completely different place very far away from home with a very different culture. I learned how to use public transportation. I started my job as a nurse, which is when the learning really begins. I learned how to switch back and forth between night shift and day shift every 4 weeks. I learned that I am week and need support and to be spiritually fed. I learned what it feels like to miss church on Sundays about twice a month because I had to work. I learned what it feels like not to have a church home.
Praise God that year is over!
There were good times too. I think San Francisco is a really neat city, and it's really weird. There are things that I see here that I assume you don't see anywhere else.
Now I'm in graduate school, and I finally feel like I'm not spinning my wheels and completely lost, but I also feel frustrated because school and work consume nearly all of my time. But it's only 2 years. People have done it before. I can do anything for 2 years.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Emotional Wreckage
I am so stressed out right now between school and work... mostly work. Things are really intense and frustrating because we're being audited by the state. I'm so tense, and I find myself walking and realize that my shoulders are all scrunched up towards my neck, and I have to force myself to put them down. I start crying at the drop of a dime.... I turned on a League of thier Own to help me relax a bit before I get down to studying and I started crying when the girls made the team! What in the world is that?! I've seen this movie a bunch of times, and I've never cried at that before. I can't handle this. Hopefully I'll be all cried out soon. It's so draining! I'm tired.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
My Birthday
This is me at my costume birthday party. Can you guess who I was suppose to be? The pose is just me being silly and not at all a part of the costume. The shaw isn't part of the costume either.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
so
There's a new guy at work. He's really hot. And nice. We made friends.
He's gay.
Oh the woes of living in San Francisco!
He's gay.
Oh the woes of living in San Francisco!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
